Date 2 – come fly with me


Okay, so after Sunday’s disastrous attempt at a date, I decided I needed to jump back on that proverbial horse, so I sent back a bunch of “I’m interested” responses and, as a result, set up three dates for this week.  The first of these was after work yesterday.  He’d chosen the venue, a fairly upmarket wine bar with a water view.

We’ll call him Barton.  His profile listed him as 47 and ‘slightly overweight’ and he listed flying as his favourite hobby.  I have a couple of friends who fly and I love going up with them in their little Cessnas, so that was pretty promising.

He was already there when I arrived and he was BIG.  There was nothing at all ‘slightly’ about his overweightness.  He wore a business shirt that had rather unfortunate stains under the arms and a tomato-red face that looked like he’d been running, but I really suspect he hadn’t.  He was also on the phone and held up one finger at me while he boomed at some hapless soul on the other end, “If this is how you treat your Platinums, I might have to fly with someone else.”


So it transpires that when he put down a hobby of ‘flying’, he meant flying on commercial airlines.  It also transpires that the reason he didn’t put down any other hobbies is because he doesn’t have any other hobbies.

“Yes, I’m a frequent flyer.  Platinum with Qantas and Virgin and I have Admiral Club and Centurian, and Diamond on other airlines.  They greet me by name on eight different airlines you know.  I fly every week.  One of their most important customers.”

“Oh,” I said, envisaging the poor passengers watching this guy come down the aisle, afraid he’s going to sit next to them and spend the flight oozing into their chair and talking at them in that booming voice.

“This weekend I’m flying from here to Canberra then I’m flying to Hobart via Sydney, then back to Canberra via Melbourne then back here.  I get 150 status credits and it only costs me around 30,000 points.  I get to go in all the business lounges – much better than the regular lounges.”

Upon questioning as to why he was doing all that flying – for not other reason than to get more miles and status credits.  He never visits the destinations he goes to – just the airports.  He chose the wine bar because he could get three frequent flyer points for every dollar spent there.

“What status have you got?” he asked me.

“Oh, um, I think I got to silver once,” I said.

“Silver?  I thought your profile said you like travelling?”

“I do.  This year I’ve been to Malaysia and London and…”

“You can’t travel without status!  I could show you how to get up to at least Gold you know.  Here….”

What followed was an extremely long-winded, detailed and jaw-droppingly boring plan of applying for credit cards that offered lots of bonus miles and using this card for those purchases and that card for other purchases and only shopping in certain stores and taking convoluted routes every time I fly and looking out for sales and flying for no reason except to get status credits…

Now, I think it’s great when someone is passionate about their hobby, but he didn’t talk about anything else, didn’t ask me anything about myself and only paused to ensure I was suitably and hopefully legs-openedly impressed with his incredible importance.

Also – and this is something I could deal with and work on if the rest of the package was worth it, but it so wasn’t – the unfortunate patches under his arms started spreading and migrating all over his back and down his side into places I didn’t want to imagine.

As soon as I was able to get a word in, I thanked him for his time, left him twenty bucks (check out my good deed – that meant he could pay on his credit card that got him two miles to the dollar or whatever) and made a hasty exit.

Nowhere near as bad as Date 1, but not exactly a success!  Next!


23 responses »

  1. not brave enough to do this myself!(I’ve all ready started collecting cats instead – I figure crazy cat lady is looking like a good option.).. so i am very much enjoying your adventures.
    it never occurred to me that someone might think of travelling as “between airports”.. i guess the saying goes that its all about the journey, not the destination.. though i thought that meant “life”…and not frequent flyer points.
    Now I’m looking forwards to your next date!( or at least, the up-date) hope it goes well… and if it doesn’t, hope the story is as good as this one.

  2. Patty, hold your plump things up, high me dear. Glad that you chose to fly outta there. What a twat. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!

      • ha – it was a typo, and I actually DID mean plump thighs! But thing will do too! ps – forgot to add, I had a friend who also blogged about her online dating experiences, she clocked up about 48 dates before she found one that was remotely entertainable as a serious propspect. It didn’t work out in the end (she’s now with somebody else) but she did have a serious relationship for a year or two. Personally I’ve dated around 10 off the Big Dating Site, about half of those I’ve gone on to see again, and half again had shortish relationships (the longest being 8 months last year). My blogging friend also has a lot of success with Twitter – not sure how, but she picks up there like no tomorrow!

  3. that’s a great story, i’ve never heard of anyone flying for the sake of getting points, pretty sad situation, wise choise getting the hell outta there, and I do think it was very classy of you to leave him cash so he can get 2 points closer to his next destination – alone no doubt. Onwards and upwards, who’s next? And please, no more ‘slightly overweight’, we all know what that means now! it’s a proven fact!

    • I do feel like I need to join ’em because I’ve been utterly unable to beat ’em Miss T, but it goes against everything I believe in to lie like that! But I think I’ll be changing that little box to “average” very soon.

  4. You have inspired me to write a memoir of my experiences on RSVP for a year. It was a very interesting and fun adventure indeed….

  5. Twitter is smart little aphorisms in ‘x’ amount of characters or less. I think she uses it to garner a following of pseudo-friends (like a blog or Facebook really) but with the opportunity to form connections and contact with people that you would never normally meet. She goes to Twitter drinks and social outings as a result per e.g. if a Twitter friend is coming to town, she will arrange to meet him for a drink and …voila….the laws of attraction (or desperation!) will apply…

  6. I work in the corporate world and actually know a lot of guys like this! I have to travel for work too, but not because I want status points, but because travelling comes with the job description…I actually really hate it because it means I’m leaving behind my loved ones, I’d much rather be having dinner with my boyfriend or going to the beach on the weekend with the family

    Don’t want to generalise, but It just goes to show the ‘slightly overweight’ guy has a pretty empty existence that he has to define his self worth through artificial labels, but I guess people like him who are not physically attractive or particularly charismatic cling onto their careers. Shame he’s not a woman, he’s probably ‘big enough’ for your first date eh!? 😉

  7. Patty, I just found your blog and I have to tell you that reading about your online dating experience is highly entertaining! I’m sorry that the dates aren’t working out well just yet, but at least you have a good attitude about it all! Good luck on your next dates, I can’t wait to read about them!

  8. Patty have I got this right: the guy spends his own money to travel just so he can accrue ‘status’? He must be rich AND delusional. I work for an airline and find ‘platinums’ to be usually pretty staid mid-level business monkeys who don’t actually get off on flying at all – it’s a nasty part of their job. These uber-frequent flyers don’t use the lounge (don’t want to waste time at an airport), don’t eat the meals (I mean, why would you if you had to do it twice a week?) and usually put up with flying’s inevitable problems with grace or a resigned sigh. As a result, they get the best service. I have no problem upgrading people like this when they’ve handled a problem with dignity, and been polite to staff.

    Unfortunately, this group has been invaded by a new sociological group: the the fly-in-fly-out miner brigade. These guys hit platinum very quickly and are usually uneducated, overweight/out-of-shape and drink when travelling. They often behave as their uneducated bogan roots suggest they should: rude, demanding and in for every bit of free stuff they can get. For a group of ‘workers’ they treat other workers like shite. They also think screaming gets you there faster, when in fact the opposite is true. Luckily, they stand out like dogs balls.

    • His hobby is accruing FF miles and status and using airport lounges. No judgment, everyone needs a hobby. It’s just that I heard about it in excruciating detail to the exclusion of all else.

      I have friends who are FIFOs. They might be a little rough around the edges but they’re good blokes.

      • You’re right, I’m guilty of overgeneralising a bit with these people (call it poetic licence!). I don’t mind the roughness when their genuinely nice people, but the FIFO thing does seem to attract its share of trainwrecks….it’s a tough life, despite the money.

  9. Oh my goodness, have you seen the film ‘Up In The Air’? If not, you need to see it.
    Pity your dude didn’t look like George…


  10. Pingback: Okay, 'fess up... which AFFer is this?

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