Okay, sorry I haven’t updated for almost a week, but honestly, I was just about ready to throw it all in. The guys I went out with were the ones whose profiles looked most promising and each of them was a disaster. Combing through the rest of the guys who contacted me – well let’s just say, there wasn’t much pushing me to go ahead.
Sorry, too, that I haven’t responded to any of the most recent comments. I really appreciate them all and want to give a personal response to each of you, so I’ll make that my mission over the next couple of days.
But anyway, about the weekend.
Friday night I went out to dinner with some friends and some friends-of-friends. One of the FOFs was a lovely guy I immediately clicked with. Absolutely gorgeous, loads of fun and with a very similar sense of humour to me – we’ll call him Patrick (see how I did that? Patty/Patrick? Because we’re, like, so similar and all?). He mentioned he was going away camping with some people the next day and that all the others were coupled up, so he’d love me to be his (plus-sized) plus-one.
Old Patty would have preferred to exfoliate with a cheese grater than commit to a whole weekend with strangers, but New Patty had survived three Dates From Hell and said yes. Well, maybe it was the excess litres of red wine that said yes, but New Patty didn’t make a lame excuse the next day.
Quick quiz:
Q: What do you call a gorgeous, attentive, wickedly witty guy who genuinely likes me and would make perfect long term relationship material?
A: Gay
Yep, hope you weren’t getting your hopes up for me; Patrick is 100% totally bona fide poof. But the camping trip sounded like loads of fun and I’d planned to have a date-free weekend anyway, so it was off to the river we went.
I’m so glad I did because my eyes were opened up big time. Great bunch of people – a straight couple in their thirties, and a gay guy/bi guy/straight girl threesome. Probably not my thing (okay, so how many people’s thing is it after all?), but it did make me realise that there’s a whole world of options out there and my bad experiences so far shouldn’t put me off. And don’t judge, even when your brain is in whoa! overload.
As happens when you have such a mixed group, a campfire and a whole lot of beer and not enough fish to go around, conversation got to “deep and meaningful” stage, which really just means we all spilled way too much personal information which would make us cringe the next morning. I regaled my dating exploits so far, which resulted in fits of laughter, which actually made me feel pretty good.
Life is pretty awesome when you make new friends, so when I got home on Monday night, I resolved to broaden my horizons and open my mind.
When I finally recovered from the weekend’s excesses by Wednesday, I put the resolution into practice and responded to a couple more guys in my inbox and went a huntin’ – sending out kisses to guys I fancy.
I’m also going to set up some profiles on other sites and book in for some speed dating.
Hopefully I’ll have some more dates to tell you about tomorrow.
Patty the Plain Plump Spinster 
The threesome thing sounds crazy, but admittedly I think the biggest problem with it would not be with the people IN the relationship, but rather how other people would view or react to it. Did they make any mention to how their families feel about it or whether many people judge them?
We did chat about it. Many of their family and friends are aware of the situation, but those they don’t think need to know – particularly parent-type people – just think they are flatmates, because they each have a bedroom in the house they share.
Great to have another post Patty, I was wondering what had happened to you and hoped you were still around 🙂 I’ve already gotten used to reading your posts regularly! Good for your for stepping outside your comfort zone, and then for getting right back on the horse!
Thanks SEE! 🙂
great post!
seems like the bi-guy in the threesome would be getting an overload of attention!!
Pretty sure that was the case!
I have been camping on the weekend and I do understand the good camaderie that you describe – we had to contend with marauding wombats and the little zippy things that fly around and bite (mozzies!) but apart from that – all good. You’ve got a great thang going on, so please don’t stop now. You’ve only had three dates, and still have a long way to go yet. It’s a numbers game, like looking for the right employer, or the right house, it’s just a matter of crunching through the stats – not ALL of them can be so dramatic (although it makes for good ‘bloggage’ and entertaining reading). I am wondering if you do need to screen them out a bit more prior to meeting? A couple more emails just to suss ’em out, instead of dashing out in haste? I’m just about to leave on holidays for a while, so catch up with this blog when I get back!
Now, where would be the fun in excessive screening – I’d have nothing to blog about! 😉
Patty, I am your slightly-older eastern suburbs equivalent and I think neither of us is in the running for a permanent relationship with a man we deem worthy of US unless we make major changes.
Against our chances are our weight, age and occupations; the dearth of straight single men in our parts of Sydney; and that most men seem willing to “go permanent” only with women who are richer, meaner, younger or gorgeous-er than they. (Two or more of those qualifications and you’re IN, and gorgeous often just means “slim”.)
I think you, I, and the too-many lonely Sydney women like us, need to act very deliberately to increase our chances: lose weight and go west. The other option is to lower our expectations of a potential partner. You’re smart, Patty – don’t do that. It will only lead to longterm loneliness or misery. Yes, we can “do some work” on our confidence and style or trust in the numbers game that is online dating, but you are already discovering the latter is a liars’ paradise and an unreliable assessor of character and compatibility, and the former is tinkering around the edges of the problem.
Why are we not attracting men we’re attracted to? The answer’s in the mirror and a little bit in the numbers of eligible men. So we can be indignant and insist on men accepting us as we are – and continue to be met with rubbish or nothing – or we can change.
Of course you have loyal friends telling you you’re gorgeous, smart, funny, interesting. You are! But what do men want, and are you willing to adapt to it to get what YOU want? Would it kill you to do it? Why? Feminist principles?
Me, I’m on a health kick and I intend to move to a smaller university city – somewhere like Orange or Armidale – early next year, because love IS essential to me, I’m tired of the rat race but need my intellectual and cultural stimulations, and I think the odds of attaining a mutually-satisfying partnership are significantly better out of Sydney.
I’m on your side, Patty. Truly. Choose what works.
Thanks for that lovely long post GeorgyGirl. I wish you all the best in your own journey. I’m also trying to lose weight, but the thought of giving up pasta or massamun curry kills me!
Hi i love your blog i have just been reading through your posts, wishing you all the best on your dating adventure!
Thanks for the kind words pbarber1 🙂
Phew. You’re back. I broke out in a rash without my Patty fix. If you meet Mr right too quickly, you have to promise to develop a strange neurosis to blog about to replace the dating blog.
Yeah, I don’t reckon I’ll meet Mr Right “too quickly” if the story so far is anything to go by…
Welcome back! Was having some withdrawal symptoms
Thanks Miss T! x
hoping to read some more soon! courage, and best wishes.
Thanks Hope! Hope you enjoy reading the latest one more than I enjoyed living it!