Date 6 – Invisible Man

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Anyway, the next date was a lunchtime coffee date.  I actually had pretty high hopes for this date – the guy was new to the site, looked very presentable and seemed to have read my profile quite thoroughly, judging by the witty bantery emails we exchanged.

I arrived right on time and sat down. Told the waiter I was waiting for a friend, so wouldn’t be ordering just yet. Told him the same thing five minutes later. And five minutes again after that. The next time he was starting to look at me with a depressing amount of pity in his eyes.

I waited a full 25 minutes before I got up and scurried out, ducking my head as I passed the waiter, who by this time had “poor plain plump stood-up loser” written all over his face.
Of course i tortured myself wondering whether he had come in to the cafe, taken one look at me and run and secretly hoped he’d really been hit by a runaway steamroller or something rather than just rejected me outright.

I sent him an email when I got home asking what happened, but have heard nothing back.
On another note, I downloaded the Blendr app and have had lots of fun with the messages on that. There’s no doubt that the vast majority of guys are looking for a bit of rumpy pumpy, but I’m hoping I might score a date or two out of it. I might also have a look at the Oasis app, inspired by the comment of Giantess.
I picked up a voucher for speed dating with Fast Impressions and was totally looking forward to doing that until I read Sam de Brito’s column about it today. Anyone had any experience with Fast Impressions?  At least it only cost me $29. I think they’re still available on the LivingSocial coupon site if anyone’s interested.

Sorry for the crap post. I’m on holiday and doing it on my iPhone, which is bloody hard work.

 

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46 responses »

  1. I am sorry you were stood up, hapens to us all I suppose. But just incase, get out the ole pin cushion abd pretend its hs backside till he calls to apologize or explain…..

  2. He may have been married. That’s their MO. I get stood up all the time. I got stood up by the same clown three weeks in a row recently.

    If you get stood up, next time have a crack at the waiter. I did that once and we went out for a lovely date. It didn’t eventuate into anything because he didn’t make the height clearance and was still lamenting being dumped by his ex, but on the whole it wasn’t entirely unpleasant.

    Work it Patty. I twitted to you yesterday. I’m so clever.

    • @Giantess – Three times in a row? Hunny, you may be taking this online dating thing a little too seriously. Either that, or there are only 6 people on blendr/oasis/adult matchmaker.

      • @ Pete

        I used to only chat ot one person at a time because I have the memory of a goldfish and would get confused remembering the chats I’d had and with whom. There was this one time where I’d been chatting with two guys named Ben. One was hot and the other was put straight into the friends basket. They both had the same default image as their msn and well, when I realised the mistake and had to cut down the ‘friends’ Ben, it was most awkward.

        So anhoo, with this guy, The first week he said he was stuck at work, and kept bugging me for another chance. The second week he was sick, then kept bugging me again so he got a good run before I cut him loose. and for the record…I don’t take a whole lot too seriously.

        Taking a leaf out of Patty’s book, i’ve decided to throw caution to the wind and any that pass my superficial hottie test and pass the height clearance have made it to the shortlist. My sister helped me cull it back to 11 potential candidates for this week. Should be a fun week.

      • Absolutely Patty. Here’s a chat from yesterday…

        Hot guy: Hey there
        Me: Hi, hows things?
        Hot Guy: I’m lying in bed covered in oil
        Me: Oh have you been working on your car…

        It was all downhill from there. Apparantly the oil thing was supposed to be sexy. eeeeeeew.

        When he explained himself and kindly invited me over so he could oil me up too (which I politely declined), all I could think of was ‘I wonder what sort of washing powder he uses’.

  3. I’ve been there Patty, it isn’t very nice and does leave you guessing as to what the hell happened. Was that him/her who quickly peeked through the window? Did they get hit by a bus (or a steam roller!) on the way? Did they arrange another date with someone who seemed better to them and simply let you hang there? What is wrong with me? Best not to go there with that one, just hold your head up high and…next!

  4. All I can say is some people are dicks.
    Next time order a juice or something on arrival. It will give you something to do while you wait =)
    And will keep the wait staff out of your hair. Do won’t even need to tell them that someone else will join you.
    Oh my goodness, I feel terrible but I actually hope you don’t meet someone awesome toooo soon as I am enjoying this blog so much. Yeah, I know that is bad. But I have a feeling you are going to meet someone… its just a matter of when. Until then please please please do keep writing!

  5. Please don’t take this personally! I’ve been stood up more times than you can count (including on Valentine’s Day – yes, I know!) and whilst it really isn’t a nice feeling, it really isn’t about you either. Although when the tears are smarting and the nice dress taken off and the (wasted) make-up wiped away, it seems that way initially. But I have learnt that it’s usually for the best. Perhaps he was freshly out of a past relationship and realised that he wasn’t really ready and got cold feet? Perhaps he suffers from shyness or nerves (remember your first time for net meeting) and just couldn’t bring himself to do it? Perhaps he just found the whole process too intimidating? Whatever, it doesn’t matter, he has lost the chance to have a sparkling conversation and meeting with you! Not even replying to your email is a good indicator of a lack of manners. I doubt very much that he turned up, saw you, didn’t like what he saw and left. Hardly given the compliments and attention that you have been getting lately. Anyway, this kind of scenario is common to internet dating as for some reason, people seem to think because they are fromn ‘online’ less manners apply, and more poor behaviour can be applied because these ‘contacts’ don’t count. Golden rule – nothing counts until real life. Develop a thick skin! Next!

  6. [Golden rule – nothing counts until real life. Develop a thick skin! Next!]

    Great advice Jessica Rabbit. Just remember, when these things happen, it’s ALWAYS for the best. When these hybrid netherworld rejections have happened a few times and you’ve gotten over it, you’ll be a ‘stronger person’ (shocking words thanks to people like America/Oprah/that daytime show that starts with ‘The…’ with the old chicks banging on about housewife shit), but you know what I mean.

  7. Hi Patty! Just trying to organise my vicarious life for the next little while and was wondering whether we (meaning YOU) are going to try Dinner For Six, singles dance nights or registering with a dating agency?

    What else are we (you) going to do, and does this project have an end “date”?

    How was BrisVegas? Any talent?

      • Can anyone figure out why we can only do two levels of replies? Anyway, reply to Hope, I will try to update – I’ve got a couple of dates backlogged to post about, as well as my rather unusual spray tan experience…

      • Look at your settings first (Settings -> Discussion), then your theme. Should be an option to change the number of levels/nesting.

  8. To be honest I think there’s a fairly good chance he did see you and turn tail. Why else would he suddenly go silent? If he was just a slacker then it’s not hard to fire off some soft soap about ‘something came up at the last moment’. Slackers are usually full of excuses.

    It’s not certain of course. There are people who are just like that. I had to cut a non-romantic friendship off because she _always_ cancelled our outings at the last moment, despite having been all for it at the time of arranging. Everyone does it now and then, but every time? nuh-uh. Find someone else to manipulate.

    I’m still gawping over Bitter Man. I’d have trouble going on another blind date after that!

    • A bit weird though because – unlike the majority of guys I’ve met – I look *exactly* like my photos on my profile. I did it on purpose to avoid that “OMG she’s a hideous whale and now I have to make small talk for the Minimum Acceptable Time” look.

  9. Ugh, WTF! You’ll never know why he didn’t show and to tell you the truth. WHO CARES. Character FAIL on his part. Who does that? Only inconsiderate losers who have no spine. I mean, what’s the big deal about telling someone you’re not going to show up, right? I say, celebrate the fact that the bastard didn’t show up. He probably sucked anyway 🙂
    Next thing…NEVER call someone after you’ve been stood up. You’re too good for that. You erase his number.
    I do love the idea of hitting on the waiter!! Plus, he’s got free bread. Win/win. 🙂
    Glad you’re over it. Onward and upward…no more time on this jackass. 🙂

    • Haha, you’re right, I should never have emailed him afterwards. My best mate Kate beat me around the head with a metaphorical Rules book for doing so.

      By the way, I discovered your blog Really!? and it is awesome! I love the inclusion of photos to illustrate your thoughts on the dating game. I’ll definitely be following you x

  10. Oh Patty, I hope you allocated a very appropriate “F” nickname to this date. You know what Patty? Everyone is right, next time, just sit yourself down, order a drink, and if he doesn’t show? just grab a menu and order yourself a nice lunch.

    Dating is so hard. It’s one thing for them not to show up, it’s a all new ball game when you go to dinner, it all seems ok and you don’t hear boo from them afterwards.

    But alas, chin up – I keep telling myself we have to deal with the douches to really appreciate the great guys when they come along.

  11. Another lurker from the Herald who wandered over here, and just wanted to say its a bugger cos I want you to have lovely dates, which you sound like you deserve, but these hilarious ones are great reads, and I would really like you to keep them coming!

  12. ok – I am overseas in a-very-exotic-place (where pgymy elephants trample young Australians) and I just had to sneak a peek on my new Eee pc about the latest. I must say, it does both concern and greatly intigue me, that you have felt the need to undergo a spray tan. Why the need to spray yourself a nice tangerine colour to perfectly match the drapes? Spinsters should stick to practical beige. 🙂 I’ll definitely be logging in from the jungles for that! (no fake tan needed here though – it’s all natural – snakes included..) Re: Invisible Man above, I still maintain that he never showed up at all. Sorry photodancer, but I think that the reason he is so silent is because he’s knows that he’s been a complete cad (yes, all he had to do was send a cancellation email) and he can’t really come back from such appalling behaviour- in his head, best just to disappear…

    • Well if Patty still hasn’t heard from him then you’re probably right. When it’s only a stranger’s feelings you’re hurting, it’s awfully tempting to take the ‘just slink away’ option. But some people do like playing strange games, not that that makes him better.

      Have fun in Borneo. Maybe you could bring back a blowpipe so Patty can express displeasure with her dates more physically!

  13. Patty, what are your man specs? I feel this group has quickly become an interested party in your search for lerv and should be out there measuring up men for your sweet pleasure.

    So what should we be looking for and are we allowed to audition them for you?

    Personally I’d like to audition Giantess’s oil-me-up man. Oh fantasy, free me!

    • I second that Miss T! Major withdrawal, how can I continue to live vicariously through Patty when there is no living to be recorded! We miss you Patty, please start 2012 off with a bang (not necessarily THAT sort of bang:) and then tell all your fans about it in vivid, entertaining detail:)

      • I third that motion. I lasted just over a month with my latest dip into the dating pool. I’m going to give it a break for a while until I feel a little delusional and brave again. I therefor must implore you to resume your dating so I can live vicariously through you too. Snap Snap chick pea.

  14. I been checking daily too. If Patty don’t post soon, I shall be be forced to reveal my latest dating forays as a sort of sub-standard blog filler. Just to keep you all entertained. Including the one with nappy fetishes. (!) Kinda like summer TV on the holidays whilst you are waiting for the much snazzier shows. They start in February, hopefully Patty will be back by then. We’d rather keep our humour unsoiled.

  15. I heard a fairly horrific story on the weekend – about a man who uses OASIS – so wish I knew the user name. When he arranges a date – he arranges THREE at the same time and location. Then HE chooses who he will actually grace with his presence when he gets there and checks all three out. So the other two are obviously stood up. He does it regularly!!!! Could he have been your guy Patty???

    I hope not – apparently this guy frequents The Oaks in Nuetral Bay – so beware daters……

    I seriously want to create a site that allows us to register people by profile/site name and leave feedback about how they acted. Obviously they’d just go and create a new profile – but really……..some of the behaviour is just abhorrent….

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