Should I date this guy? Your help needed!

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So I’m still checking Big Dating Site daily because, let’s face it, it’s kind of addictive.  Today I got a kiss from someone whose profile is so over-the-top I can’t really believe it’s real.  I really really want to go on a date with him to see if he’s a troll or doing a social experiment on women with low enough self esteem or something.

I’m not sure it’s quite kosher doing this, but here’s a copy and paste from his profile:

I DON’T HAVE A PICTURE, ONLY CLASSY,INTELLIGENT,ELEGANT FIT & CONFIDENT WOMAN TO RESPOND, NO TIME FOR TIME WASTERS,TIMID & WOMEN WHO LACK SELF ESTEEM.

Hmm… good start.

Read before you reply: QUALITY IS A MUST coz i am cut above most(QUALITY &CLASS). NO CHRONIC USERS AND IF you CAN FIND ANY ONE BETTER GO FOR IT, DONT WASTE MY TIME IF YOU ASSUME THAT I WOULD MEET YOU TO QUENCH YOUR CURIOSITY,YES IF I LIKE WHAT I SEE I WILL COME FULL ON, IF YOU CANT HANDLE IT DONT BOTHER.

No, the phrase ‘serial-killer-rapist’ didn’t just pop into my head.  Why do you ask?

I EXPECT THE LADY TO BE PREPARED/RECEPTIVE TO BE WOOED BY A TOP QUALITY MAN,

Yes, but do you expect her to be receptive to being ‘wooed’ by you?

I am 44 and not 43 as my profile states, not sure how that happened & couldn’t be bothered to change.

My guess is “couldn’t be bothered” actually means “don’t want to admit I couldn’t figure out how to do it”

I HAVE NO STAMPS , IF YOU INTERESTED PLEASE FREE TO EMAIL ME, PROMISE YOU WONT EVER BE DISAPPOINTED.(just been honest)

True to his word, his ‘kiss’ was one demanding I spend the money to contact him.

I am happy confident man please all i ask is the same in a lady.Read on:

I bet all the folks on here are wonderful humans, but WHY is it that woman(the mature ones) are so Timid,LACK CONFIDENCE and INSECURE to face reality- does this site make instant relationships(laughs) it does worry me when a woman is expecting something instant, she should know better that wont last Or do these women feel intimidated when a man asks for class & style.

I think he could possibly be mistaking timidity and insecurity for sheer unadulterated terror in women’s face-to-face interactions with him

I am a Happy man

Yes, I can tell.  Joy de virve oozes from every pixel

& a ALPHA MALE,

Did you hear something?  It seems to be going “Warning, warning!  Danger Plump Patty! Danger!”

seeking to meet a HAPPY LADY.Articulate, well mannered,Vibrant,light hearted, decent, fun loving, cool (wicked) sense of humour in short a gentleman or you can say a cheeky cute spunk. My two love’s Travel-Music .Looking for the third to complete my love triangle. I love to go out and dine and explore the exotic cultures that the world has to offer-A romantic gentle soul.

Really, he doesn’t need to spell out how articulate and light-hearted he is.  I mean, I totally picked that up from the profile.

Dont send me a reply saying” It wont work between us” gee we dont even know each other, and how could any one predict that.

I’m not sure there’s a crystal ball in the world that’s malfunctioning enough not to get this one right…

So. That’s him then. But what’s he looking for?

Tall >5.3, elegant,CULTURED, average to slim &FIT please, shoulder length hair or longer, CLASSY in looks & decent attitude,with sparkle in her eyes Dislikes: EMOTIONAL,PSYCHOLOGICAL& PHYSICAL ISSSUES, loud,UNHAPPY ,attention seeking, distorted body image & lack self esteem..

Ah, yes.  I can see why he sent a Kiss to me.  Because Short Plump Dumpling fits this description soooo closely.

And his final word on himself?

Fun loving easy goin man,

Which I could tell, of course.  You know, from his fun-loving, easy goin’ profile.

love to explore and be explored.

I think I’d rather opt for exploratory surgery by Harold Shipman

What do you guys think? Real (In which case I’m going to hell for making this post exposing someone clearly mentally ill), Troll or Social Experiment?  And should I send him that email?

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21 responses »

  1. Beware sounds like Russian mafia hit man in disguise. Can’t spell and grammar is off, will not like Plump because it is not Fit.
    Hey, why don’t we all post some of their ‘cute’ descriptions here! Maybe you could write a book Patty!

  2. Pats – he sounds delightful!

    Dislikes – EMOTIONAL,PSYCHOLOGICAL& PHYSICAL ISSSUES, loud,UNHAPPY ,attention seeking, distorted body image & lack self esteem..

    I bet those qualities emerge after exposure to his lovliness.

    Narcissistic abnoxious tight arse – ooohhh whata catch!!

    Be fun to screw with his head though, wouldn’t it???

    I be evil.

  3. I’d say that guy is 100% genuine. In fact, I think I’ve met him and his siblings before. I can tell – because of how perfect they are. They are also genuinely flummoxed as to why people do not seem to see their absolute brilliance and perfection.

    I never contact anyone who cannot pay their own way on any dating site. (As an aside, nor do I respond to people who send me an email asking me to call them – WTF is that anyway? You had time to email me but not make the call yourself?) My profile – in the old days when I had one – even said “Gentlemen, if I contact you, I have the wherewithal ie stamps to do so appropriately. If you contact me, please do the same. After all, I would not ask you to coffee, and expect you to pay” It’s just common courtesy, and if he’s too cheap to contact you, he’s too cheap to date. First impressions count – and asking you to pay – is a really bad one.

    The truly scary thing – is that is what this guy really thinks. Youch. Having said that – I’ve read a profile that a woman has on Oasis – and it’s similar to that. It’s all about how great she is, how she spends her weekends at a beach house in her bikini, or driving her sports car to her fabulous career – and insists that if men contact her, their contact is to include ten reasons that she would even consider dating them. She is serious. I had a friend who dared to contact her, without the ten reasons – and as part of their chat he asked her why someone as fabulous as her, is single…..she deleted him immediately. So this thing, goes both ways.

  4. Don’t even think about dating him. This guy is married and just looking for sex. As with most of these profiles, there is a heavy emphasis on what they WANT and not what they have to OFFER. That is a sure sign of a walking disaster to start with. He also uses the word ‘lady’. That tells me that he knows very little about real women. Men like this are usually crap to sleep with. They don’t understand subtly and that building and creating intimacy is all part of the beautiful process of getting to know somebody. They are just wham bam thank you m’aam and endeavour to mask this boorishness under the cover of ‘don’t waste my time’. He is about as romantic as a chilbain in the middle of winter. These guys (and believe it or not – there’s heaps of profiles strikingly similar out there – he’s not at all unique) often even use that exact same line ‘you won’t be disappointed’. Trust me, you will be. Every time. If he was at all honest, to start with, and had nothing to hide or be ashamed of (perhaps the wife might find out?) he would put his geuine photo up for a start.

  5. First, Why no photo? Any guy who is genuine would happily put up a pic, second, his whole schtick screams “Male Samantha Brick” ie a serious narcissist with problems of his own…..please don’t go there because you are highly likely to be VERY disappointed. Another thing from re reading this- he is a bit of an attention seeking prat. Patty, you deserve a lot better than that.

  6. I second everyone else, with an emphatic ‘No!’ On top of all the rather concerning character flaws I’m going to be really petty. The man’s random use of all caps, random capitalization of words like ‘or”, lack of apostrophes and, let’s face it, correct syntax are not endearing. If he cannot be bothered to proofread his profile I think this, along with his comments, suggests an arrogant I’m-better-than-all-of-you-pathetic-flawed-women attitude. He wants a classy, intelligent CULTURED [sic] woman? I think women who fit this description probably also want some class, intelligence and respect. This man radiates the complete opposite and you should steer well away. Assuming that is, that you were really asking for our opinion and not just seeking to entertain us ;-). Which you’re doing a wonderful job of by the way. Thanks for the laughs.

  7. Oh I’ve come across one of his less wordy but equally articulate counterparts. His profile simply said, ‘I want sum one intellergent.’ You know you have to go on this date Patty. There’s some gold material for a blog post there and you starved us out way too long. Take one for the Team Patty…Take one for the team.

  8. I think the guy is for real. I also think he might be entertaining to go on a date with provided you are prepared for going on a date with a real asshat.

    Seriously though, while reading through this, he sounded like a weird combo of my ex-husband and men who call themselves MRAs (mens rights activists). If you were to go on a date with him, I would expect you would find yourself on a date with a guy who wants a “traditational” woman who is beautiful and knows her place (i.e., in the kitchen). I think a date with this man would be terrible…but funny to read about! 🙂

  9. Sounds self-centred/immature and I think he’s more bragging than actually being what he claims. Wouldn’t advise to date.

  10. Patty! I’ve missed you! three posts in one week! I’m sooo happy!!!

    Regarding the profile above -if it were me, I couldn’t do it. But I think maybe for different reasons than the ladies mentioned above.

    I’m feeling quite fragile right now. I’ve been off dating sites for 6 months and have spent this time taking care of myself better, working out (PT twice a week and have dropped 18 kgs), and reflecting on what I really need in my life . Right now I’m at the crossroads where I either totally give up dating or I spread out my wings and try again.

    Despite the social experiment this profile would be, I could easily see someone like this damaging my self esteem beyond repair. It’s really obvious from his profile that – the things he is searching for in a partner are the traits he wishes he had. The things he doesn’t want, are most likely the strongest character flaws he has.

    I read your previous entry about critical man, wouldn’t this guy be even worse? most likely you would initiate and pay for everything and he’ll just enjoy being a arsehat and using people.

    I just think there comes to a point where we just need to stop wasting time on men who just aren’t worth it and will cause us more risk than reward.

  11. Mama’s boy. 10 bucks says he’s got olive skin, black hair and his parents/grandparents hail from a warm climate. I see this oozing self-satisfaction in the likes of Italians, Greeks and Middle Easterners all the time. Their mothers raise them to think they’re perfect and so they need someone ‘classy’ (a favorite word) to impress mama. Also he’s short if he thinks 5’3″ counts as tall. So-called anglos can also be up themselves, of course, but they don’t express themselves quite this way in my experience. However, I bet he got his anglo mate to suggest that “cheeky cute spunk” line. I haven’t heard ‘spunk’ in years!

    Actually the repetition of the words ‘class’ and ‘style’ reminded me of brothel ads more than anything. That, and the use of “I will come full on” and his decrying of timid women suggests Jessica is right, he wants sex. Should you go? Only if you can detach yourself to the point where you can be entertained by him rather than horrified.

  12. Patty, 2nd thought, if you were to go out with him, do it with NO expectation. That way there is no disappointment. “Let him entertain you!”

  13. As a male looking at what he has said……………..i advise strongly not to go there.
    Keep up the great posts Patty…….you have a talent for entertaining writing.

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