Tag Archives: scary date

Should I date this guy? Your help needed!

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So I’m still checking Big Dating Site daily because, let’s face it, it’s kind of addictive.  Today I got a kiss from someone whose profile is so over-the-top I can’t really believe it’s real.  I really really want to go on a date with him to see if he’s a troll or doing a social experiment on women with low enough self esteem or something.

I’m not sure it’s quite kosher doing this, but here’s a copy and paste from his profile:

I DON’T HAVE A PICTURE, ONLY CLASSY,INTELLIGENT,ELEGANT FIT & CONFIDENT WOMAN TO RESPOND, NO TIME FOR TIME WASTERS,TIMID & WOMEN WHO LACK SELF ESTEEM.

Hmm… good start.

Read before you reply: QUALITY IS A MUST coz i am cut above most(QUALITY &CLASS). NO CHRONIC USERS AND IF you CAN FIND ANY ONE BETTER GO FOR IT, DONT WASTE MY TIME IF YOU ASSUME THAT I WOULD MEET YOU TO QUENCH YOUR CURIOSITY,YES IF I LIKE WHAT I SEE I WILL COME FULL ON, IF YOU CANT HANDLE IT DONT BOTHER.

No, the phrase ‘serial-killer-rapist’ didn’t just pop into my head.  Why do you ask?

I EXPECT THE LADY TO BE PREPARED/RECEPTIVE TO BE WOOED BY A TOP QUALITY MAN,

Yes, but do you expect her to be receptive to being ‘wooed’ by you?

I am 44 and not 43 as my profile states, not sure how that happened & couldn’t be bothered to change.

My guess is “couldn’t be bothered” actually means “don’t want to admit I couldn’t figure out how to do it”

I HAVE NO STAMPS , IF YOU INTERESTED PLEASE FREE TO EMAIL ME, PROMISE YOU WONT EVER BE DISAPPOINTED.(just been honest)

True to his word, his ‘kiss’ was one demanding I spend the money to contact him.

I am happy confident man please all i ask is the same in a lady.Read on:

I bet all the folks on here are wonderful humans, but WHY is it that woman(the mature ones) are so Timid,LACK CONFIDENCE and INSECURE to face reality- does this site make instant relationships(laughs) it does worry me when a woman is expecting something instant, she should know better that wont last Or do these women feel intimidated when a man asks for class & style.

I think he could possibly be mistaking timidity and insecurity for sheer unadulterated terror in women’s face-to-face interactions with him

I am a Happy man

Yes, I can tell.  Joy de virve oozes from every pixel

& a ALPHA MALE,

Did you hear something?  It seems to be going “Warning, warning!  Danger Plump Patty! Danger!”

seeking to meet a HAPPY LADY.Articulate, well mannered,Vibrant,light hearted, decent, fun loving, cool (wicked) sense of humour in short a gentleman or you can say a cheeky cute spunk. My two love’s Travel-Music .Looking for the third to complete my love triangle. I love to go out and dine and explore the exotic cultures that the world has to offer-A romantic gentle soul.

Really, he doesn’t need to spell out how articulate and light-hearted he is.  I mean, I totally picked that up from the profile.

Dont send me a reply saying” It wont work between us” gee we dont even know each other, and how could any one predict that.

I’m not sure there’s a crystal ball in the world that’s malfunctioning enough not to get this one right…

So. That’s him then. But what’s he looking for?

Tall >5.3, elegant,CULTURED, average to slim &FIT please, shoulder length hair or longer, CLASSY in looks & decent attitude,with sparkle in her eyes Dislikes: EMOTIONAL,PSYCHOLOGICAL& PHYSICAL ISSSUES, loud,UNHAPPY ,attention seeking, distorted body image & lack self esteem..

Ah, yes.  I can see why he sent a Kiss to me.  Because Short Plump Dumpling fits this description soooo closely.

And his final word on himself?

Fun loving easy goin man,

Which I could tell, of course.  You know, from his fun-loving, easy goin’ profile.

love to explore and be explored.

I think I’d rather opt for exploratory surgery by Harold Shipman

What do you guys think? Real (In which case I’m going to hell for making this post exposing someone clearly mentally ill), Troll or Social Experiment?  And should I send him that email?